


Make Love, Not War

by ncfan



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: AU, Black Humor, For Want of a Nail, Friendship, Gen, Multi, Sympathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncfan/pseuds/ncfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyouko declares her intentions to make nice with Sayaka. Homura thinks this can only end badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Several different things are going on (and will be going on) in this fic. First, I attempted to explain why exactly Kyouko's feelings for Sayaka suddenly took a 180-degree turn; it seemed so abrupt to me in the anime, and I would have liked an explanation. Second, this is AU, though that's not really going to be apparent until I have the next two chapters up.
> 
> This may come across as OOC. However, I don't think the concept I'm aiming for would work if I kept everyone completely in-character; as their views of others change, so do their mindsets.

Tonight was a fairly typical night for Akemi Homura. She broke up a fight between infant ally Sakura Kyouko and ineffectual nuisance Miki Sayaka, and went diving for a lost Soul Gem as all Hell broke loose and her fellow Puellae Magi found out the truth about the contract they had unwittingly sacrificed their humanity for.

Well, scratch that. They found out _half_ the truth about the wretched Puella Magi system, the other half Kyouko and Sayaka have stayed thankfully ignorant of. Homura would like to keep it that way for as long as possible; while neither Kyouko nor Sayaka ever went quite as psychotic as Mami tended to when exposed to the truth prematurely—Kyouko actually tends to take it pretty well, all things considered—things on Sayaka's end tend to go to Hell in a hand basket if she finds out. Sayaka may be far weaker than she is but Homura still doesn't want to deal with the swordsman going on a murderous rampage.

_Well at least this will discourage Madoka from making a contract. I know she must be upset, but she should be. This isn't a joke; it's not a game. Our lives are nasty, brutish and short; she deserves better than that fate. That's why…_

"So this is Chateau Akemi, huh? Doesn't look like much."

Oh yes. After the explanations, the shouting and the crying was done, Kyouko followed Homura home. This was, actually, a predetermined arrangement; Homura offered Kyouko a place to sleep, the better to keep an eye on her while they prepared for the coming of Walpurgisnacht. Kyouko was staying in some hotel room beforehand, but upon being given the chance to stay somewhere she didn't have to worry about the police or some guy with a baseball bat busting down her door, she jumped.

And yes, Homura will concede that her apartment doesn't look like much. It's badly lit and the walls are painted dark. The living area is huge, with two half-moon couches curled around a low circular table, but the walls are lined with boxes and the bedroom is used less for sleeping in and more for storage. But it's home.

"I have a projector, but I've had some trouble getting it to work," Homura explains evenly. Traveling back through time for God only knows how many times will do that. "We'll be able to talk more about Walpurgisnacht when I get it running." Of course, Homura's pretty much memorized everything there is to know about the great and powerful Queen of Witches, but it will be easier by far to discuss things with Kyouko if the redhead's actually able to see the information for herself.

"Right." Kyouko's eyes wander in the direction of the refrigerator, but for some reason, she actually hesitates.

Homura frowns. _That's odd; Kyouko's not normally the sort of person to hesitate when she knows there's food lying about._ Then, she realizes that the girl's actually waiting for permission. Marveling that such a glutton actually cares about getting her host's permission before raiding the refrigerator, and feeling herself soften towards Kyouko despite everything that should keep her remote, Homura waves a hand dismissively. "Eat to your heart's content. Just don't empty out the larders, and don't eat what's in the bento box; that's my lunch for tomorrow."

Kyouko's grins hugely. "Thanks."

While Kyouko begins gobbling down whatever takes her fancy, Homura gets ready for bed.

"There's only one futon," she explains as she rolls her futon out on a patch of clear space in the living room. "You're going to have to sleep on the couch."

"Yeah, sure," Kyouko answers thickly through a mouth full of cold tempura. "Be'er tha' wha' ah'm used to."

Homura sighs, and lies down to sleep.

It's going to be a long day.

But then, they're all long.

-0-0-0-

The next morning, Homura is very surprised indeed to discover that there's still an appreciable amount of food in the refrigerator, more than enough for her to make breakfast.

Kyouko was sprawled on the couch, clearly sleeping a lot better than she had been in a while; Homura can't imagine she slept very well in a hotel room where you could—all too clearly—hear _all_ the activities of the people in the rooms to her left, right, and above. However, the smell of rice being cooked appears to have woken her up.

Homura hears soft yawning and looks up from her egg beating to see Kyouko, hair down and falling over her face, rubbing her eyes blearily and peering into the pot boiling on the stove. Presumably seeing that there's only enough rice in that bowl for one person, she starts rummaging through the refrigerator for something to eat, eventually settling on the tempura she didn't eat last night. She goes to sit at the small dining table in the corner and munch on her "breakfast."

Armed with rice and egg-yolk and a plate of umeboshi, Homura sits down at the table just as Kyouko finishes inhaling her tempura. Given that Kyouko has been up to now half-awake and silent, Homura is taken back, just a little bit, when Kyouko starts to talk as though she's wide awake.

"Hey, I know you said you were going to deal with Sayaka… "peaceably"," she adds with a snort. Homura frowns; yes, she knows that that was an obvious front to a solution she hasn't figured out yet but is, needless to say, _highly_ unlikely to be "peaceable," but really… "but if it's alright with you, I'm gonna go talk to her today."

Homura blinks uncomprehendingly at Kyouko. _Okay, it's still dark out; it's_ way _too early in the morning for this_. Then, very deliberately, she jabs at her arm with the sharp end of her chopsticks.

"What are you doing?" Kyouko asks, looking at her as though she's gone insane.

Rather disappointed that this didn't turn out to be a dream, Homura puts her chopsticks down and, setting her jaw and preparing herself for something that is probably going to turn out to be mentally painful, explains herself. "I'm sorry," she says flatly, in the sort of tone that would tend to indicate that she's not really sorry at all. "I thought I just heard you say that you were planning on making nice with Miki Sayaka."

Kyouko narrows her eyes at her like she's not entirely sure exactly what's going on with her. "You heard right."

Unable to deny anymore that A: she is awake and B: that she heard Kyouko correctly, Homura sighs internally. But mostly, she's just confused, as confused as she ever was when Kyouko in one of the past timelines declared that she suddenly wanted to become friends with a girl she'd been gunning to kill (or at least severely maim) less than twenty-four hours earlier.

 _Okay, why don't I try to reason it out with her this time? After all, I never actually tried to figure out_ why _Kyouko suddenly wanted to befriend Miki Sayaka in the past timelines. If I have to redo this one too, it could be useful information for next time._

She breathes in deeply, bringing her forefinger and her middle finger to her forehead. "Okay. If I understood you correctly, you are telling me that you wish to befriend Miki Sayaka, as in the Miki Sayaka you wanted to do violent things to less than a day ago. May I ask _why_ you suddenly want to become friends with this girl?"

Kyouko shrugs. "'Cause I can?"

Homura glares at her. "There has to be a better reason than that."

At this, the usually brash Kyouko starts to look just a touch uncomfortable; she lowers her eyes shyly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "So we've got our differences—okay, _big_ differences," she concedes when Homura glares at her again. "And if you think that I'm going to let some self-righteous newbie on a fast track to nowhere _moralize_ to me…" Her nostrils flare, and Kyouko breaks off to regain control of herself.

After a moment, she resumes, in that same, uncharacteristically quiet voice. "But we're the same."

Okay, now Homura's wondering if maybe Kyouko hit her head (really, _really_ hard) during her fight with Sayaka before she got there. "How do you figure that the two of you are the same?" she asks shortly, deciding to forbear from rattling off the astronomical list of Sakura Kyouko and Miki Sayaka's differences.

Sensing the sarcasm on the part of her conversation partner, now it's Kyouko who's doing the glaring; Homura is, as anyone can imagine, unimpressed. "Let's see. We were both bamboozled by the little white rat—" _Huh, that fits it so well; I'm going to have to start referring to Kyubey as that form now on; or, maybe not, since that would mess up my image_ "—into having our immortal souls ripped out of our chests in exchange for a wish meant to help someone we cared about that ended up going to Hell on us. Sounds to me like we've got plenty in common."

Homura raises an eyebrow. From past timelines she's learned the details of Kyouko's past and the circumstances of her wish, but she doesn't think she's ever seen her talk about it in a conversation so casually before. She sighs. "Alright, you've made your point." Even though she kind of hasn't. "But have you considered that she's probably not going to be receptive to your offers of friendship?"

The blank look on Kyouko's face would tend to indicate that she hasn't. Homura sighs again.

This is hardly the first timeline in which Kyouko has sought Sayaka's friendship after having an extremely abrupt change of heart concerning the blue-haired girl (Leaving all concerned, Homura especially, to conclude that she is nothing less then the undisputed Master of the Mixed Message). What Homura has observed is that, when Kyouko tries to make friends with Sayaka, it… well… It never ends well. Not once has Sayaka ever accepted Kyouko's overtures of friendship. She _always_ rejects Kyouko out of hand.

The problem, Homura supposes, is that Miki Sayaka is always completely convinced that she's in the right, and that she is totally incapable of comprehending change. That she is incapable of seeing change in others means that she never changes her (usually highly prejudicial and inaccurate) first impressions of anyone, and that she never sees Kyouko for what she really is: a deeply flawed human being, but capable of changing into something better, softer. That she is also incapable of comprehending change in herself is what leads to her own downfall—the revelation that she is not the "champion of justice" she thought herself to be is so catastrophic that that tends to be the breaking point for her to go Witch. Compounding the difficulties is that, by the time Kyouko decides she wants to be friends with Sayaka instead of mortal enemies, Sayaka's Soul Gem has started corrupting in earnest, and she's no longer rational enough to accept help from anyone. Of course, Kyouko can't know that, but it still doesn't make this any less foolish.

"Kyouko… Miki Sayaka. Does. Not. Like. You. She considers herself against everything you stand for and despises you with every fiber of her being. If you told her the sky was blue she'd suddenly start thinking it was green, just so she wouldn't have to agree with you. What on Earth makes you think she'll accept your advice?" she asks bluntly.

If Kyouko is at all discouraged by this, she doesn't show it. "I'll get through to her," she assures Homura. "She can't hate me that much," Kyouko declares, all too positively.

_Oh, she can't, can she?_

After a few minutes, Kyouko's ready to go. "I'll see you this afternoon," she calls from the door. "I'll have Sayaka on our side by lunchtime!"

Once she's gone, Homura puts her head in her hands and groans.

Akemi Homura, with all her experience of the past timelines, has only this to say.

"This can only end badly."

-0-0-0-

Homura has a fondness for plum tea that has lasted all through her life, even through the "not allowed to leave the hospital" stage of her life and the still ongoing "must turn back time at the end of every month so I can continue to try to save Madoka" stage of her life. As such, she finds herself brewing it that afternoon, the warm, sweet smelling permeating every corner of her apartment, when she hears a knock on the door.

"Just a minute," she calls, minding the pot on the stove.

The knocking turns to pounding.

"I'll be there in a minute," she says again, this time with a certain edge in her voice.

The pounding turns to kicking.

"Oh, for God's sake, Kyouko," she mutters; there is, after all, only one person Homura knows who would actually be brazen enough to _kick_ on someone's door when they weren't answering quick enough for their liking.

Homura marches to the door and flings it open. "What?" she demands crossly.

Kyouko stands at the door with a brown paper bag filled with apples in her arms, and judging from the look on her face (it's hard to tell whether she's on the verge of screaming in articulate rage or crying in frustration), she's in no mood for explanations. She shoves the bag into Homura's arms, stomps inside and, without even bothering to take off her boots, collapses at the coffee table, pillowing her head on her arms and hiding her face from view.

 _Ah, I see. I_ knew _this would end badly._ Homura sets the bag of apples down on the ground beside Kyouko and sits at the couch opposite her collapsed ally. She gives Kyouko a few moments to stew in peace, then asks evenly, "I take it things didn't go well?"

"That self-righteous bitch," Kyouko groans, her voice muffled in her sleeves.

Homura raises an eyebrow; she was under the impression that Kyouko _already_ thought Sayaka was, in her words a "self-righteous bitch." She's not entirely sure why Kyouko feels the need to emphasize this again, but, as it happens, she's about to find out.

"She didn't listen to a word I said!" Kyouko shouts, so suddenly that even an unflappable girl like Homura has to jump a little. "It's like I was speaking Greek or something. I told her what I had to say, she waited to the end, and then completely put me down! Told me I was completely wrong like she's some damned expert on how to be a Puella Magi! Like she's better than me!" She sits up and slumps against the couch, her legs splayed out in front of her underneath the coffee table. Her arms folded about her chest, Kyouko's mouth contorts so wildly that, for one second, Homura is almost sure she's going to cry.

Reaching up to rub her forehead, Homura sighs. "Well… I can't say I'm surprised. So she viewed your words with contempt, is that it?"

Kyouko snorts. "If only." Homura supposes she should take it as a good sign that Kyouko seems a little bit calmer now than she did before.

She frowns. _If not contempt, then what?_ Then, Homura remembers the one thing Kyouko hates worse than being looked down upon. "…Pity?" she ventures. When Kyouko nods soundlessly, mouth clamped tightly shut, Homura goes on. "Well, she doesn't hate you. At least you have that much—"

"It's worse!" Kyouko snaps harshly. "You don't give pity to another human being! You give pity to a… a… a _dog_!" she all but shouts again.

Homura raises an eyebrow. "So your problem with the way Miki Sayaka reacted when you tried to make her see your side of things is that you perceived her as viewing you as subhuman?"

"And that's not even the worst of it! Just think! I had given her my life story, exposed my tender belly, made myself completely vulnerable to her! Do you know how hard that is for me?"

"Virtually impossible?" Homura asks dryly.

"Damn right! And then, when I try to give her one of my apples—" Homura cringes; she knows the significance of Kyouko offering food to another, and judging from the state Kyouko's in, she can guess how that went "—what does she do? She asks if they're stolen! And then she goes on this big speech about how stealing food is bad! That it's immoral! That _I'm_ immoral for doing it!"

She goes back to being face down on the coffee table. "Easy to say when you're a self-righteous bitch"—she slams her fist on the table "—who's never—" again "—gone hungry—" and again "—a day—" and again "—in your life! Easy to say when you're Miki Sayaka, who's never been poor, never been starving, never had to steal for her food, never had to beg for it, never had to go digging through people's trash to find lunch!" She slams her fist on the table yet again.

"Kyouko." Homura's voice is hard. "Stop hitting my coffee table. You're going to break it." Scowling mutinously but acceding to the demands of her host, Kyouko goes back to her sitting position. "And honestly, what did you expect?

"You're right. Miki Sayaka is not poor. She's never wanted for anything. Of course she thinks stealing food is immoral. She's never _had_ to steal; the whole "homeless and starving" experience is so remote from her existence that she can't even begin to imagine what it's like to live the way you have. And as I said this morning, she does not like you. Of course she's going to disapprove of it if you're the one doing it. She won't accept that you've changed from when she first met you. She—"

"And then I punched her in the face," Kyouko announces suddenly, looking just a touch abashed.

Homura frowns at her. "What?"

Kyouko looks away, her shoulders shifting uncomfortably. "I punched her in the face," she says again.

"Kyouko!" Homura knows it hurts her image to show exasperation like this, but really, her stoicism can only take so much exposure to sheer stupidity. "I thought your plan was to make love, not war!"

The redhead shudders, and points a finger at Homura. "Okay, first thing. That whole "making love" thing? Never say that again. And second, you'd have done the same thing in my shoes! _You_ try listening to some self-righteous bitch newbie lecture to you about how you get your food without punching her!"

Then, suddenly, all the anger vanishes from Kyouko's face. To replace it, a deeply bitter, morose, even melancholy cloud steals over her skin. She groans aloud and mutters, "God, I just wanted to be friends."

_She's not such a bad person, in the end. Just a product of the system and what it did to her, and I will admit, I've always found her attempts to buck said system somewhat admirable. No one else even tries, but Kyouko, she's the only one who actually dares to believe things can still be alright once she knows the truth._

Okay, Homura's just going to admit it. Not even she can deny it any longer, when she keeps having thoughts in that direction every other minute. She's… fond? Affectionate towards? Okay, she likes Kyouko. Even when that girl keeps picking pointless fights and putting Madoka in harm's way as a result, Homura can't quite bring herself to hate her as she ought to hate anything that threatens Madoka. It's just… It's just impossible for her to hate Kyouko, no matter how destructive or _self_ -destructive she is.

So she says the one thing she can think of that might possibly make Kyouko feel better. Homura points towards the sack of apples and quietly asks "May I have one?"

For a moment, Kyouko stares at her, eyes wide as though she never expected Homura to ask something like that. Then, she smiles. Not one of her wide, boisterous grins; a small, gentle smile. "Yeah, sure." Kyouko pulls an apple from the sack, examines it for a moment to make sure there aren't any bruises or holes, and tosses it to Homura, who catches the apple easily.

Homura's always liked apples. Her favorite fruit is grapefruit, but apples are easier to come by. She takes a bite out of it and swallows. "We'll put them in the refrigerator, so they last longer. Do you want some tea?"

"Yeah, I would."

Homura nods, and goes to get a couple of cups from the cupboard.

_I need to think some things over._


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I envision Homura referring to Kyubey as "it" in her thoughts, and thus he is represented as "it" in narration from her point of view. This chapter picks up from where Kyubey goes to inform Homura and Kyouko that Sayaka's deterioration is occurring faster than what was expected in Episode 8.

Kyubey's a creepy little bastard, but when it wants to be it's an informative one too. Sometimes too informative for Homura's liking.

She watches, cold-eyed and stiff, ready to leap into action and silence it—permanently; or at least until a new body can show up to devour the old one—if it says any more, as Kyubey, for once recognizing when it's not wanted, disappears back into the shadows, fluffy tail twitching, presumably leaving the same way it got into her locked and sealed apartment.

Once it leaves, Kyouko retracts her summoned spear; the glittering construct vanishes into her Soul Gem. She looks at Homura and whistles. "What, so you can control the thermostat with the powers of your mind or something?"

Homura straights a few papers primly and doesn't meet Kyouko's visibly shaken gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about. I simply don't like it when Kyubey comes into my apartment without asking permission first."

Kyouko makes a noise in her throat and lets her Soul Gem revert back to ring form; she does not, however, sit back down on the couch. "Oh, so that's why this place suddenly started feeling like an icebox when you eyeballed him like that. Jeez, Homura, this place is creepy enough now you've got the projector working."

"You're sleeping here, aren't you?"

The redhead shrugs, and falls to silence; Homura continues straightening her folders and loose papers, readying herself to go looking for Sayaka. However, she can still feel eyes burning into the top of her head, and sighs. "Yes, Kyouko?" she asks quietly.

Kyouko audibly swallows. Homura looks up to see that that shaken look that she was sure was just as the result of her and Kyubey's staring match hasn't vanished from her face. If anything, it looks deeper than ever. However, Kyouko tries to play it off with a show of smiling bravado that doesn't do much when said smile twitches like crazy. _Is she that worried about Miki Sayaka?_ "I know what Kyubey meant when he said Sayaka's "exhausting herself faster than I expected." Her Soul Gem's corrupting faster than it should. But what—" her gaze hardens, the smile vanishing from her face, and her voice grows stronger "—did he mean by something "unfortunate" happening before Walpurgisnacht shows up? And just what do _you_ know about it?"

Homura pauses. When Kyubey had said that, she'd been sorely tempted to throttle it with her bare hands. She's done all she can to keep the others from finding out the truth about Witches in this timeline, and the Incubator's moment of interference nearly brought all her work crashing down. _They can't know. Miki Sayaka would simply fall into despair even more quickly than she is now, and I would lose Kyouko's trust and cooperation. I_ can't _face Walpurgisnacht alone. I_ can't _let Madoka be forced into the position of having to make a contract in order to stop her._

 _What do I tell her? I can't just tell the truth. She wouldn't believe me. I can't lose her trust. I don't_ want _to lose her trust._

"Kyubey simply meant that her Soul Gem will corrupt beyond saving if something isn't done," Homura responds evenly, not meeting Kyouko's gaze. "Nothing more." She starts towards the door, pausing to pull her shoes back on.

"Where are you going?" Kyouko demands.

"To find Miki Sayaka?"

"To do what?" Kyouko inquires suspiciously, fiddling with her ring as though contemplating transforming.

"…Eat your soba, Kyouko," she says quietly, before stepping out into the nighttime world.

-0-0-0-

It doesn't take long for Homura to find Sayaka. She wasn't even all that far away from Homura's apartment, as it happens; the time traveler found her battling Familiars nearby, in that part of town the redevelopment never touched. Deciding that, unless Sayaka shows some sign of losing, she should just let Sayaka vent her rage on the Familiars and expend her energy, this gives Homura plenty of time to think.

_She's still wasting her time and energy on Familiars. Oh, stupid girl. Haven't you been told over and over again that targeting the Familiars solves nothing? Just attack the Witch head on; if you kill the Witch the Familiars will follow her into death. It's not that difficult to understand. There's nothing "immoral", as you'd probably put it, about ignoring the Familiars and heading directly for the Witch. Even Tomoe Mami, whom you idolize so, understood this._

Homura narrows her eyes as, from her hiding place in the shadows, she watches Sayaka attack the spinning mannequin Familiars, again and again and again, screaming hoarsely all the time. Her rage, it seems, has not abated since her battle with the Shadow Witch last night.

Sayaka had revealed just how deep the corruption in her went when she battled Elsa Maria, if you could even call what happened a battle, instead of something more apt, like "bloody slaughter" or "crazed, maniacal bloodbath." Madoka had been abjectly terrified, weak and trembling, watching Sayaka chop the Witch to bits through her fingers. Homura had watched from her perch, tense and ready in case Sayaka turned on Madoka. Even Kyouko was wary of her then, tense and on her guard, watching, sickened, as Sayaka sank her sword into the Shadow Witch, over and over.

Dulling her pain so she could fight on and on, even with horrific injuries, venting all of her inhuman rage on a Witch that bore a certain resemblance to the girl Homura knows to be close to the center of Sayaka's troubles, just from that, Homura knew that Sayaka was failing fast. She didn't need Kyubey to tell her that Sayaka would probably fall into despair soon. You could see it written all over her, in every splatter of the Witch's blood on her flesh, that Sayaka couldn't take much more.

_She's nearly done with the Familiars. Let's see if she's still rational enough to listen to me._

If Sayaka's willing to cooperate with Homura, then so much the better. Sayaka will never be a Puella Magi strong enough to combat Walpurgisnacht, but at least she could help Kyouko keep the Queen of Witch's Familiars busy while Homura dealt with the great clockwork beast herself. _I wish Tomoe Mami had listened to me, and kept her guard up against Charlotte. Then I would have had someone to help me against the Witch herself._

If not…

The battle's over. Homura, already transformed, pulls a Grief Seed from the pocket dimension within her buckler. As she seems to recall, this is the Grief Seed of the Witch of the Netherlands. The barrier had lovely tulips, but the Witch herself was grotesque, and the Familiars' courtesy non-existent; she'd had no compunction about killing the Witch when her minions were so rude. She tosses the Grief Seed towards Sayaka, to see how she reacts.

Even in the darkness of dead night, Homura can see the scowl that steals over Sayaka's face, tugging hideously at her lip, as the girl kicks the Grief Seed away.

Homura steps forward, and immediately notices the change that Kyubey had talked about. _Cursed air is right._ Not only has Sayaka's soul begun to corrupt in earnest; even her body shows the symptoms of it now. Her skin is waxen and her eyes dull and unfocused; her mouth is set in a grim, miserable line. Sayaka's whole body emanates the taint of her darkening Soul Gem. Homura wouldn't be surprised if even someone who wasn't aware of the world of Puellae Magi and Witches could pick up on the air of _wrongness_ all about her; she can practically _smell_ the corruption.

 _Oh, this isn't going to be pleasant; I just know it._ "Why don't you ever listen about the Familiars?" Homura asks; though her voice is quiet, it would be difficult for even Sayaka to mistake the edge of exasperation sharpening her words to a fine point. "We don't have time for this. You shouldn't waste your energy fighting them when you still have the Witch to go after." In this case, Homura's not even sure that Sayaka ever intended to go after the Witch at all. Perhaps she had just come upon the Familiars at random and, having already wanted something to kill, decided to have at them.

"Gee, thanks for the advice," Sayaka responds caustically.

It's better not to rise to the bait of someone who has to feel as though her blood's been replaced by needles; Homura's been close enough to going Witch herself to know how that feels, and know that politeness isn't exactly easy to come by when you feel like that. Therefore, she continues on, as calmly as she can manage, "Your Soul Gem is at its limits. If you don't clean it, there won't be any going back for you."

Homura supposes she would have liked for Sayaka to see reason here. She supposes she would have liked for Sayaka to at least understand that she needed to clean her Soul Gem. After all, she fancies herself such a "hero of justice", and it's kind of hard to be a "hero of justice" when you're dead—or, as the truth goes, worse than dead.

But then again, Homura forgot that this was Miki Sayaka we're talking about. Even more, she forgot that this was a Miki Sayaka already deep in the mire of bitterness and paranoia she was dealing with.

Far from behaving reasonably, Sayaka snarls. "What are you plotting now?" she snaps. All the while, her legs start to shake beneath her.

 _Oh, good grief, not_ this _again._ Homura has to swallow on the bitter retort rising in her throat, lower lip shaking. _Why does everyone always assume the worst of me? Why? You're just like Tomoe Mami; I'm just trying to help you people, but you always assume I'm "plotting" something._ "Grow up," she says coldly. Deciding that that bitter retort should not be denied, she adds in a mutter, "Like I'd take the time out of my day to plot against you."

As a matter of fact, Sayaka _does_ think Homura would take the time out of her day to plot against her. "You're not one for charity," she needles in an all-too-soft, almost singsong voice. "You're not someone who believes in justice. I'll be a different sort of Puella Magi than you and Kyouko, and all the others who've abandoned morality. I hate people who just use and abandon the people around them. I don't need any reward. _I'll_ never use magic for my own benefit. I don't want your kind of help."

 _I can't believe I ever forgot how hard she makes this every time._ Struggling to remember that it's the corruption that's making Sayaka talk like this, Homura tries a more direct tack. "You're dying," she tells her softly, willing Sayaka to understand.

A mad, sob-like giggle tears itself from Sayaka's throat. "You think I care about that? Once I'm dead, I won't have to kill any more Witches. I'll have completed my task. I'll finally be whole—" her voice quavers "—again." Her trembling legs give out, and Sayaka collapses at Homura's feet.

Homura stares down at her, unsure whether to feel disgust or pity. _Maybe I should feel both._

Normally, this would be the point where she pulled out a gun and killed Sayaka, shattering the girl's Soul Gem in one fell swoop. And even now, it's tempting. So, _so_ tempting. She's sick of watching Sayaka hurt Madoka, watching her scare her and make her cry. So far gone in corruption is she that every breath she takes serves to make Madoka suffer. She doesn't notice how she hurts her best friend; Homura's not sure Sayaka even cares anymore. It's likely that at this point, Sayaka's no longer capable of comprehending anyone's suffering but her own. _That is, after all, the nature of a Witch, to despair and be bitter. A Witch lives only to make those around her suffer as she has suffered; Miki Sayaka is already feeling the nature of Oktavia starting to overwrite her own._

Her fingers itch to feel cold steel beneath them. It would be so easy. She could simply tell Kyouko that Sayaka died in battle against the Witch whose Familiars she was fighting just now; Kyouko would have no way to prove that Homura had actually killed her. And Sayaka wouldn't be able to hurt Madoka anymore…

But something gives her pause.

Lately, Homura has been examining her game strategy and wondering just how effective her actions in the past timelines have been. She supposes it was the action of, for once, actually asking Kyouko why she wanted to befriend Sayaka that got her thinking, opening the floodgates for her to deconstruct all her motives and past actions. Now, she's forced with a truth that makes her rather uncomfortable.

Yes, it would be easy to kill Sayaka, weakened as she is now. Homura actually has killed her on more than one occasion in the past timelines, when confronted with a similar situation and finding herself at the end of her tolerance for Sayaka's foolishness. But when she thinks hard about it, Homura realizes that killing Sayaka's never actually solved anything.

It's true that killing Sayaka now means that she can never turn into a Witch, and that Kyouko won't die trying to save her, and that Homura won't be left alone at the coming of Walpurgisnacht. But things never go quite the way Homura wants them to.

When she kills Sayaka, Homura is left alone anyways. Kyubey inevitably feels the need to inform the others of what's happened; Homura suspects it's somewhere nearby right now, watching the proceedings to see if one of them suddenly goes Witch. When she kills Sayaka, Homura loses Kyouko's trust and cooperation; Kyouko reneges on her deal to help Homura with Walpurgisnacht and sometimes tries to kill her outright, at which point Homura is forced to kill Kyouko as well. And Madoka rejects her, refusing to talk to Homura anymore if she kills Sayaka. She looks at her with such fearful eyes…

And even when Homura kills Sayaka, the timeline always ends the same way. Madoka still makes a contract with Kyubey. So what's the point of killing her now?

 _I tell myself that I'm doing this because I don't want her to cause Madoka any more pain. But Miki Sayaka is Madoka's best friend. How is my killing her_ not _supposed to cause Madoka pain? I'd only be hurting Madoka if I killed Miki Sayaka, no matter how much of a danger she is. What did I think killing her was going to solve?_

_Wait. I remember now. I wasn't thinking. Not really. I was just all rage and wanting retribution on Madoka's behalf. But Madoka never asked for that. And that's not going to fix this._

_I've always told myself that Miki Sayaka is a hopeless case, and I abandoned her because of that. After all, she goes Witch in every timeline in which she contracts. She never listens to me when I tell her to be careful. But was I really trying back then? Have I ever really tried to save her before?_

_No, I haven't._

_Well maybe I should._

So instead of pulling a gun on the girl as she has countless times before in this situation, Homura stops time. Knowing she has to act quickly, she goes to retrieve the Grief Seed Sayaka discarded; thankfully the girl didn't manage to kick it too far away. Her buckler growing more leaden with each passing second of stopped time, Homura kneels down in front of Sayaka. She holds the Grief Seed as close to the badly-corrupted Soul Gem as she can without touching Sayaka and thus wake her to this frozen world.

Thankfully, the Grief Seed can still do its job, even if the Soul Gem it's supposed to purify is locked in stasis. Homura watches as a buzzing black cloud of corruption seeps out from between Sayaka's motionless fingers. By the time it's done, the Grief Seed is filled to capacity, throwing off black sparks in Homura's grasp.

Her arm aching, she starts time again.

Upon realizing that Homura has gone from standing to kneeling in front of her in not time flat, Sayaka recoils, gasping. This Homura notes with satisfaction—she's more alert now, finally starting to take stock of her surroundings again. At the same time, Sayaka's cerulean eyes have cleared, the unnatural pallor fading from her skin. No longer does her body reek of corruption.

"Wha—"

"Feel any better?"

Sayaka blinks, pausing. "Yeah," she says slowly, "I do."

"Good." And with that, Homura promptly slaps her across the face.

The air still ringing with that stinging blow, it takes Sayaka a moment to register what happened. When she does, she jerks her head back, incredulous and indignant. "Oh, what, first Kyouko and now you?! What the Hell was that for?!"

"For being selfish," Homura responds coolly. "Let's see your Soul Gem."

Sayaka shows no sign of complying, but the fact that she doesn't try to run away tells Homura that she's probably still too weak to flee, which means she's also too weak to fight back. Thus, Homura has absolutely no compunction about roughly grabbing Sayaka's closed hand and prying her fingers open. Homura holds Sayaka's Soul Gem at eye level, examining it closely.

Though it can't be nearly as corrupted as it was before Homura held the Grief Seed to it, Sayaka's Soul Gem doesn't have the dazzling blue glow it should have. It looks… dull, more like blue glass than anything else. Homura sighs. _The Witch of the Netherlands wasn't particularly strong; I shouldn't have expected her Grief Seed to be able to restore Miki Sayaka's Soul Gem entirely. Oh well. It's not perfect, but at least she's no longer in danger of going Witch at any moment._

Homura presses the Soul Gem back into its owner's hand and holds the Grief Seed of the Witch of the Netherlands close to Sayaka's face. "Whatever you may think about "morality" and "using people"—" Homura spits the words out "—keep this in mind: if you want to live, Grief Seeds are you friends." _Sometimes literally, but it's better that you don't know that._

Only now does Sayaka seem to realize that the reason she feels so different is because Homura purified her Soul Gem at some point during their conversation. The thick stew of hostility coats her face again; the only difference now being that she can actually put some spirit into her anger. "Why did you do that?!" she demands, snarling. "I didn't _want_ my Soul Gem cleaned; I—"

She stops short when Homura raises her hand again, casting a slightly nervous look at Homura's open palm. After a moment, a stomach-twisted moment, Homura lowers her hand. _It won't solve anything. You'll just get too enraged to deal with her sanely._ Instead, she grabs the crook of Sayaka's arm and hoists her to her feet. "Come on," she says roughly. "You're going home."

Sayaka is apparently strong enough to wrest her arm from Homura's grasp. "I don't need you leading me there like I'm some sort of dog," she mutters. "I know the way." But she doesn't try to scare Homura off, and Homura has absolutely no intention of letting Sayaka walk to the train station by herself.

For the first couple of minutes, there is taut, unfriendly silence between the two of them. Sayaka is surly and ungrateful, Homura suddenly fuming and struggling to swallow on all the bitter words in her throat. _How can anyone be so selfish, so thoughtless? How can anyone so totally ignore all the good things in her life?_

Finally, as they're passing under a bridge, doused in the shadows, Homura can hold it in no longer. "How can someone who has so much think act as though she has nothing?" she asks bitterly, not looking at Sayaka.

Though she can't see Sayaka's face, Homura can guess the sort of expression the girl wears on her face from her response: bitter, morose, and miserable. "I have 'so much?'" she queries gloomily, pace flagging. "How do you figure I have so _much_? I can't even call my soul the resident of my body. I can hold it, touch it, but it's not mine anymore. My soul doesn't belong to me anymore." She stares up at the moon as they pass out from under the bridge, lip quivering. "Just how am I supposed to have "so much"?"

 _That's it._ Homura stops dead in her tracks, fingernails digging into her palm.

Sayaka notices and turns about, eyebrow raised. "What's up with you?" she asks, in the sort of voice that indicates that she doesn't really care.

And frankly, Homura doesn't care that Sayaka doesn't care.

"You amaze me." Her voice is quiet, barely even audible, but what no one can mistake is the shake in the words, the way her voice trembles. "Girls like me and Kyouko, we can count on one hand the number of people who would even notice if we died tomorrow. But you, your funeral would be filled with mourners weeping for your death." _I've seen it. I've seen it happen so many times, and yet, you never think about those people. You just go your own way, convinced you're right to do what you do, and you never think about them._

Sayaka's lower lip quivers, but she still speaks with that hard, bitter tone. "That girl I was is already dead. She's already dead; why should I care who mourns this empty—"

"Shut up!" Homura snaps, feeling her rage spring up beyond the breaking point. "I'm sick of hearing you carrying on about that!" _Sick of hearing you talk about your soul's separation from your body like it's truly some horrific thing, timeline after timeline after timeline…_ "Who gives a damn where your soul is, when you still have it to call your own? You still have your soul, you still have your life, and you have so much more than that, but you don't _see_ it.

"You have a loving family and caring friends." Homura's voice cracks, all traces of stoicism gone. She barely even notices as she starts to shake all over. "You have so many people who would miss you, so many people who worry about you. How can you act as though your life is worthless when you have all that?

"Think of your parents, wondering where you are, worrying with each hour that you don't call or come home. Think of Madoka, who's probably looking for you right now, who just wants you to be alright. You have parents, friends, a home to go back to. You have everything. How can you possibly believe that you have nothing of value?"

Homura draws in deep, shuddering breaths, physically and mentally drained after that outburst, and stunned at the depth of her own emotions. _I hear envy._ Ah, that must be it. She envies Sayaka her life. Not just her closeness and easy friendship with Madoka. Everything she has, that Homura doesn't.

Or maybe she's just lost her mind. Again. That seems to happen every fifth timeline or so, when something especially shattering happens. Homura supposes she was overdue for a breakdown.

There is a single thought ringing through the air, conceived perhaps by Sayaka, and perhaps by the universe itself.

_Well look at that. The ice queen has emotions after all._

Sayaka gapes at her, wide-eyed and pale. Steeling her control, Homura regains composure before she does, and, realizing that the train station is in sight, grabs Sayaka's arm again and steers her towards it, not trusting herself to speak. For reasons that ought to alarm her but don't because she also doesn't trust herself to examine them, Sayaka doesn't try to fight her off.

It really is entirely too jarringly bright inside the train station. After the gentle darkness of the street outside, Homura has to squint her stinging eyes to keep from being blinded, and even then little dancing spots appear at the corners of her vision. How troublesome.

She goes up to the vending machine and orders a ticket for Sayaka's journey home, fishing the coins from her pocket and stuffing the change back in the same pocket. "You owe me two hundred yen," she tells Sayaka briskly, pressing the ticket into her hand. "I expect repayment no later than the day after tomorrow."

Homura points towards the train Sayaka's supposed to take. "That train will take you to the station nearest to your home. Go home. Let your parents know that you're safe." She makes a tsking noise in her throat, deciding that one more thing needs to be said. "And for God's sake, the next time you see Kyouko, please refrain from any smart comments about how she gets her food. It's not your place to judge a homeless person for how she comes by her meals, and she was quite upset."

With that, Homura leaves, heading not towards home but towards a park; if her memory of the past timelines are accurate, she has a contract to stop and a pesky Incubator to kill (Again).

Homura spares not a backwards glance for Sayaka, but she hopes…

She hopes that maybe things can be better this time.

-0-0-0-

Meanwhile, back at the scene of the crime, we find one very confused Sakura Kyouko.

It hadn't taken Kyouko too long after Homura left for her to start to get worried about exactly what her taciturn host intended to do with Sayaka. In particular, Kyouko's thoughts started to lean towards suspicions of murder—as much as she likes Homura, Kyouko will be the first to admit that Homura is _not_ a normal girl; it might not occur to her to try to reason with Sayaka first.

So she tracked them down to this shadowy place, wailing cars zipping by below, and Kyouko finds…

Well, she doesn't find anything.

No trace of either Homura or Sayaka.

Kyouko starts investigating the scene. No sign of blood, and no telltale glass shards over the floor that would tell her that a Soul Gem's been shattered. Well, that's good. That means that neither Homura nor Sayaka are dead, and they probably didn't get into a fight either.

But still…

"Where the Hell is everybody?"


	3. Chapter Three

Sakura Kyouko supposes that, when she was born, God took a step back and decided to let the Universe shape the course of her life instead. This was, of course, a pretty bad decision on God's part, because we all know that while God is loving and benevolent, the Universe is a cruel, sadistic bitch. She supposes that's why her life feels like such a sick joke most of the time.

Take, for instance, Kyouko's relationship with one Miki Sayaka. Kyouko hadn't believed in stupid things like friendship since she broke company with Mami. After all, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there; Kyouko can't afford to care about anyone or anything but herself. She fought only for herself, cared only for herself, and the rest of the world be damned. It had already abandoned her, after all.

Then, for reasons Kyouko would rather not get into, she was forced to move shop to Mitakihara Town. And she met Sayaka.

Okay, she didn't like her at first. _Really_ didn't like her. Kyouko felt and still feels as though she's known a thousand Puellae Magi like Sayaka: horrible fighters who spout off contrived, uninspired, arrogant lines a mile a minute, convinced of their own superiority and righteousness. They tend to die early. Those girls all looked at Kyouko the same way Sayaka did too: like she's an abomination. That really didn't help on the "wanting to violently maim and murder Miki Sayaka" front.

But then, though her opinion of Sayaka as a fighter was still disdainful at best, Kyouko's stance on how to treat her did a complete one-eighty. Kyouko can't really articulate _why_ she suddenly wanted to befriend Sayaka instead of "violently maim and murder" her. If she had to guess, she'd probably say that it had something to do with the sense of solidarity she felt with her fellow Puellae Magi after they found out exactly what Kyubey had done to them, so sudden and out of the blue that Kyouko's stills startled by it.

And, of course, as with everything else important that's ever happened to her, the Universe just had to have a vicious sense of irony about how it played out. It just figures that, when Kyouko actively tried to befriend someone for the first time in years, the person she tried to befriend would be too self-righteous and caught up in her own pre-conceived notions about how the world was supposed to work to accept. That she'd feel that it was her right to talk down to her and tell her that everything about her life was immoral and, that if her choice was to either steal food or go hungry, she ought to go hungry.

(Of course, Kyouko figures that last part could just as easily have been for the whole "break his legs to make him rely on you" thing.)

So Kyouko figures that the fact that she's still looking for Sayaka with the intent to "save her life and murder Homura if need be" just proves what she's always suspected about herself: that she's a huge glutton for punishment.

Kyouko keeps telling herself that Homura isn't the sort of girl to drag it out, that if she wanted to kill Sayaka she already would have done it and she would have done it back at the place Kyouko had tracked them to. _C'mon,_ she tells herself bracingly. _You know that Homura chick. She'd just shoot her Soul Gem and be done with it. She wouldn't do something like carry Sayaka off to some secret place and hang her up by her ankles. She wouldn't bleed her like a pig or skin her alive or…_

_And Good God, why am I having these thoughts?_

_Oh yeah. These are all things_ I've _wanted to do to people._

The redhead grimaces and moves on.

She really hopes it doesn't come down to a fight. Homura's "standing in one place one second and another the next" powers are pretty useful for the little girl, but Kyouko gets the suspicion that it would make a fight really unpleasant for her. And even when you take away her powers, from what Kyubey's told her, Homura fight with guns. Very real, very lethal guns. So the basics of a fight between Kyouko and Homura basically boil down to what hits flesh first—the bullet or the spear tip? Kyouko knows how that would turn out. She does _not_ want a fight with Akemi Homura.

Plus, Kyouko's pretty sure she wouldn't be allowed to sleep at Homura's apartment anymore if she tried to kill her. That would be bad.

Kyouko's about to pass beneath a bridge when she spots someone walking up top. Someone with long black hair and a Mitakihara Middle uniform. "Homura!" she shouts. The girl pauses, and Kyouko can indeed see that it's her host. And she's alone.

Unsure whether to be reassured or just more deeply suspicious than ever because of this fact, Kyouko wastes no time in getting up on to the bridge with her, narrowing her eyes as she looks over Homura, who seems just as smooth and unruffled as she usually does. "Yes?" the schoolgirl asks quietly.

"Where's Sayaka?" Kyouko demands brusquely, readying herself to transform and leap into combat if she has to—though she still really _doesn't_ want to.

"I sent her home," Homura replies evenly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Yes, Kyouko knows she's crossed the line into paranoia now, but for all she knows "sending her home" could be a metaphor for death or something.

"It means I put her on a train and told her to go home. She's been declared missing by the police; the girl needs to learn how to manage her life a little better than that." Homura casts a sidelong look at Kyouko. "Sakura Kyouko… what did you _think_ I was going to do with her?"

Kyouko shrugs, unable to fully mask her relief that Homura didn't decide to take "drastic measures." "Eh, something violent, I guess. Which train station will she get off at?"

"The one nearest to her house. If you hurry, you'll get there about the same time she does." Kyouko starts to head off towards her new destination, her relief making her smile, when Homura calls her name. "Kyouko? Do you still have the Shadow Witch's Grief Seed?"

 _Oh boy, what is it now?_ Kyouko fishes about in her jacket pocket, and pulls it out for Homura to see. "Yeah, I've got it."

Homura nods, her face unreadable. "Good. You may need it."

Deciding she doesn't like the sound of that at all, Kyouko figures she'd better hurry.

-0-0-0-

A feature of the trains in Mitakihara Town is that, thanks to the system that keeps too much sunlight from filtering into the cars during the day, passengers on the train at night will notice that the light takes on an eerie, muted, gray look. Colors become washed out; the surroundings almost seem as though presented in black and white.

Incidentally, the color scheme happens to fit Sayaka's present mood perfectly.

 _I… I'm so useless._ Her lip quivers, but Sayaka makes no sound and lets no tears escape from her eyes; she doesn't even feel ears prickling at her eyes as she would have had she expressed such a sentiment a month ago. Instead, all there is to her is a bleak heaviness and the unshakeable knowledge that she is completely, totally _useless._

Sayaka had come into her profession with the best of intentions. Mami had shown her a way to be what she had always dreamed of being—a heroine, a champion of justice who would be able to protect her loved ones and, indeed, the whole world, from the forces of evil. She was going to right wrongs, crush despair under her heel and put those two immoral Puellae Magi in their place. She was going to be better than sadistic Kyouko, better than apathetic Homura. She was going to live up to Mami's legacy. She was going to be a Puella Magi just like Mami. A strong and righteous champion of justice.

But that didn't work out. Instead, her failures play past her eyes like a movie reel.

She ought to have been strong enough to beat Kyouko and Homura. She ought to have been able to make them see the error of their ways. After all, Sayaka's the righteous one, isn't she? She has right on her side, doesn't she? The champion of justice always prevails over villains and anti-heroines, doesn't she? But Kyouko and Homura both wiped the floor with her, and neither show any sign of having "seen the error of their ways"; they haven't changed at all. Sayaka knows that even heroines must face adversity, but she hasn't even the consolation of a won fight.

(Her Soul Gem darkens, just a bit.)

Then, she discovered that in order to heal Kyousuke's arm and become a Puella Magi, Kyubey made her into a zombie. Her… Her soul's been ripped out of her chest and put in a container for… for _storage_. For safekeeping, Kyubey says. She can hold her soul in her hands, watch it glow and feel it pulse. Sayaka will never regret having healed Kyousuke's arm, but her very existence is a crime against nature. She's no longer something that could even be called human.

(Her Soul Gem darkens a little more.)

Yesterday, Hitomi came to her with a revelation—that she too likes Kyousuke—and an ultimatum—if you don't confess your feelings to Kyousuke by the next day after school, I will. Sayaka can't tell Kyousuke how she feels. She's a dead girl, an animated corpse being controlled by a little blue stone—how can she _ever_ have a normal relationship with anyone? Who would ever want to date a zombie? Who would ever want to kiss a zombie? But the idea of seeing Kyousuke with another girl still kills her, and how, how could Hitomi do this to her? _Sayaka can't bring herself to acknowledge that if she had been more open with her, Hitomi would have been more understanding._

She regrets saving Hitomi from the Box Witch, and is disgusted with herself.

(And a little more.)

And now, now, she's said such horrible things to Madoka. Just as a Witch spreads suffering and despair, she's tried to infect Madoka with all her doubt, all her frustration, all her despair, all her self-loathing. How could she do such a thing to Madoka, her closest friend who's always stood by her? _I don't deserve such a good friend._ How can she ever face her or talk to her again after being so cruel to her? _It would be easier if she hated me._

(And a little more.)

And something else, something even more agonizing, has just occurred to her.

Sayaka does not readily heed, believe, or take seriously anything that comes out of the mouth of Akemi Homura. That girl is just as immoral and what a Puella Magi shouldn't be as Kyouko. She waited until Mami died to kill the Witch with the dessert barrier; she may as well have killed her herself. But she saw a different side to Homura tonight, a side Sayaka never imagined existed. It's made her a bit… _confused_ as to how she should view the girl. But that's not the devastating thing. No, it's something Homura pointed out during her rant.

Her parents. Sayaka completely forgot about her parents.

Sayaka resists the urge to scream aloud. She sold her soul to become a Witch-killing warrior who could be killed at any time, and not once did she ever spare a though for her parents. She could so easily be killed and to them, she would have just vanished—they would always wait for her to come back, never knowing what had happened to her. _I'm such a horrible daughter. Who does that to their parents?_

_I just wanted to protect everyone, and look what happened._

And soon, even that resolve is called into question.

Sayaka catches strains of a conversation between two young men, the only other passengers with her in the car.

"She keeps asking for more. More of my time, more of my attention. She oughta be happy with anything at all from me, but no… She always wants me to talk to her, get things for her. This time it was some coat she said she needed. Man, I was so stupid, spending my hard-earned money on a woman!"

"And here I was thinking you were talking about a dog."

"God, she might as well be, always yapping about the bills. Soon she'll be talking about settling down, getting married and having kids. She already chews me out when I go see other women, like she actually has a _right_ to get mad! Think of all the fun I'll be missing!"

"So put her in her place. Remind the bitch who's boss."

"Yeah, that'll stop her yapping."

The two men laugh unkindly, and Sayaka stands. Her blood is boiling, but at the same time, she finds herself oddly calm.

People like them, men like them who never got the memo about gender equality, men like them are a canker on society. Scum of the earth. These men, who encourage violence and injustice and bigotry—it doesn't even half to be sexism—they… Sayaka hates them. No matter what form they take, she still hates them. She hates them so much…

The train cars are soundproofed, and they are alone in the car. Sayaka's glad for that.

"Hey." She goes to stand in front of them, looking down upon these two shadowy forms. She doesn't see faces when she looks at them, but then, these aren't really people; they're just caricatures of human beings who don't deserve the name. She doesn't know their faces, doesn't know their names, but it doesn't matter. "Tell me more about this woman you were talking about," she says softly, addressing the Ungrateful Boyfriend.

She can't see his face, but from the tone of his voice, she can guess that the Ungrateful Boyfriend is a little startled. Not that Sayaka cares what a caricature like him thinks or feels. "Little girl, aren't you in middle school or something? Didn't your parents tell you not to go out this late at night?"

 _Don't act like you actually give a damn when it's obvious you don't._ "She obviously cherishes you, if she wants you to be faithful to her," she goes on in that soft voice. She works hard, and tries her best to make you happy. Aren't you thankful for that? And yet you compare her to a dog. You don't thank her for all her effort. You think that she needs to be "put in her place"," Sayaka spits out, knowing just as well as they do exactly what that means. "Why does she love a man like you?"

The Ungrateful Boyfriend exchanges a glance with the Poisonous Friend. "You know this chick?"

"No," the Poisonous Friend responds. "Maybe she's a friend of Aiko's or something. Listen, you're just a little girl. You don't understand. When you grow up, you'll understand why things are the way they are."

Personally, if understanding means bowing to the whims of men like them, she hopes she never understands.

Sayaka shakes her head, a marauding coldness seeping through her bones and blood. She fixes them both with an icy stare. "Is there any meaning in protecting this world? What have I been fighting for? Tell me. Tell me quickly." They stare at her uncomprehendingly, but the choked noises that come from their throats a second later tells Sayaka they understand. Good.

"If you don't…" Sayaka smiles, a wide, mirthless smile "…I don't know what I'll do."

-0-0-0-

Sayaka emerges from the train car alone, not entirely sure what she's just done. Her bones feel as though they're made of lead, and it's almost unbearable just to breathe now. Living has no more appeal for her. She collapses into a chair outside the halted train car, and waits for the end to come.

Someone else comes instead.

Sayaka is vaguely aware of the metallic sound of someone running up the escalator instead of just letting the machine do it's job. She doesn't look up, but she's also vaguely aware of someone walking over to her, and flopping down in the seat next to hers with a gusty sigh. "Finally found you."

Kyouko.

The girl opens a can of Pringle's and goes on between bites, "How long are you gonna keep blowing off your friends?"

If she was a little more normal at the moment, Sayaka probably would have taken exception to Kyouko implying that she was one of Sayaka's friends. As it happens, she doesn't care about that right now. She doesn't care about much right now.

"I'm sorry to bother you," Sayaka responds, much too quietly, much too mildly. But like she's made clear, she doesn't care about that anymore.

She doesn't think she cares about anything anymore.

Kyouko casts a sidelong glance at her. "What's up with you? You're not acting normal." She doesn't sound all that concerned, but there's an edge to her voice that indicates that she realizes something's not right with this situation.

Sayaka takes a deep, jagged breath. "I… I just don't care anymore. About anything." Not her parents, not Kyousuke, not Madoka, not Hitomi, not Mami, not Kyubey, not Kyouko, not Homura. None of it matters at all. "What's important? Nothing. What have I been protecting? Nothing. What have I been fighting for? Nothing."

She opens her hand to reveal her Soul Gem. Beside her, she hears, as if through a filter of water, Kyouko gasp aloud to see the state it's in, and she supposes Kyouko should be surprised. Her Soul Gem is nearly black.

"The balance of hope and despair always comes back to zero. That's what you said, wasn't it? I… I think I understand you now," Sayaka says softly. And she does. She understands what Kyouko meant when she said that there wasn't anything in this world worth protecting. She was right. There's not. "I've saved a lot of people. But then, I felt resentment and pain take hold of my heart in return. I wanted the very people I saved to suffer." _And now, I just want my suffering to stop._ "I've come to realize—"

She's come to realize that her Soul Gem's just been snatched out of her open hand.

The next thing Sayaka knows, the heaviness, the bleakness and the worst of the despair lifts from her shoulders. It's like a fog's lifted from her mind and eyes, and she can see the world clearly again for the first time in years. She looks over to her left, and sees Kyouko holding her now quite-bright Soul Gem in one hand, and a very-full, very black Grief Seed in another.

And the first thing Sayaka realizes after this fog's been lifted from her mind, is that she's pissed.

"Give that back!" she shouts, practically launching herself on Kyouko in the attempt to retrieve her stolen Soul Gem.

"No way in Hell!" Kyouko retorts, holding Sayaka's Soul Gem firmly in her hand, her arm sticking straight up. "You obviously can't be trusted with this thing!"

"What… the Hell… is it with you people?! First Madoka, then Transfer Girl—"

"Is _that_ what we're calling her now?" Kyouko interjects dryly.

"—and now you! That's _mine_! That's my soul you're holding there! Give it back!"

Kyouko narrows her eyes. "You gonna take proper care of this thing from now on? No more letting it get so black you can't even tell it's blue anymore?"

Of course, under these circumstances, Sayaka would probably agree to anything. "Yes, yes, of course! Just give it back!"

The redhead smirks, and pops another chip into her mouth. "Sure thing, newbie." She holds out Sayaka's Soul Gem, and Sayaka immediately swipes it out of her hand, scowling and letting it revert back to ring form so it won't be so easy to steal the _next_ time someone decides to get grabby.

"Anyway…" Kyouko swallows her chip and starts munching on another. "Aren't you feeling better now?"

Sayaka's scowl deepens. Rather than actually admit that, yes, she does feel better, Sayaka's eyes settle on Kyouko's tin of Pringle's, and she decides to totally disregard Homura's past advice. "Stolen?" she asks acidly.

The smirk vanishes from Kyouko's face. She holds up a fist menacingly. "You want another fat lip?" she counters.

Given the circumstances, Sayaka decides that it would be best to let the matter lie.

And, oddly enough, so does Kyouko.

"So what was eating you this time?" she asks conversationally, finishing off her can of chips and deftly tossing it into a trash can roughly twenty feet away from them. "More love troubles? Or was it something—" she stops, the lazy smile vanishing from her face. Kyouko looks sharply over at Sayaka. "I smell blood."

Sayaka cringes, and resists the urge to curl up into a ball.

"Sayaka, what did you do?" Kyouko demands.

Her eyes tight shut, Sayaka responds in a "This is gonna suck" sort of voice, "I may or may not have just killed two people."

Kyouko snorts. "Welcome to the club."

The schoolgirl glares at her companion. "Unlike you, I don't happen to take a whole lot of pride in being a member of the "Yes, I've killed people" club."

Kyouko shrugs as though this doesn't concern her a whole lot. And given that it's Kyouko, it probably doesn't. "Whatever. Hey, you didn't sound like you were all that certain that you'd actually killed them. Where are they?"

"In the train car."

Brushing the crumbs off of her lap, Kyouko hops to her feet. "I'll go see if they're still kicking." She peeks her head into the compartment, and sticks it back out again smirking. "Hey, Sayaka, were your victims two guys in their twenties whose clothes and haircuts just scream "total douchebag"?"

Sayaka's brow knits. "Yes…"

A faint cry of "Help us!" comes from within the car, and Kyouko grins. "Very much still alive." She takes a sniff of the air and winces. "And boy, does this car reek! Those stains'll never come out of the seats!"

"What, from where they've bled?"

"That and from where they've pissed their pants."

At this, Sayaka starts twiddling with her skirt uncomfortably. Yes, these two guys were total bastards, but in a state of mind that actually approaches clarity, Sayaka has to acknowledge that however horrible human beings they are, they're _still_ human beings. "Shouldn't we call a hospital?" she suggests weakly.

Still hovering by the open door to the train car, Kyouko shrugs. "That depends. Why'd you go nuts on 'em?"

Another cry of "Help us!" can be heard.

"Shuddup!" Kyouko snaps. She turns her gaze back to Sayaka. "Well?"

Sayaka's eyes harden as she remembers. "They were talking trash about one of the guy's girlfriend."

"And?"

"It was implied that he was going to beat his girlfriend when he got home."

Eyes like chips of ice, Kyouko nods decisively. "Well that settles it." She sticks her head back in the compartment one last time. "Guess what boys? You get to sit where you are and think about whatcha done, until somebody _else_ finds you!" And without further adieu (and ignoring the desperate cries that arise in response to this), she slams the door shut, and goes back to sitting besides Sayaka.

For herself, Sayaka buries her face in her hands. "I am the absolute worst," she groans.

"What?" Kyouko doesn't seem to believe that. "What makes you think that? You stopped some bastard with an entitlement complex from beating up his girlfriend!" She laughs suddenly. "You struck a blow for gender equality everywhere!"

Sayaka slumps in her chair and rolls her eyes. "Somehow, that doesn't exactly fill me with reassurance. Guess that just goes to show you can't get _anything_ right when you're a zombie," she mutters.

"Hey." Sayaka looks over at Kyouko, brow furrowed, to hear the girl's unusually serious tone. Kyouko stares at her with such intensity that Sayaka actually feels uncomfortable. "We're not zombies."

 _I fail to see how._ "Oh?" Sayaka curls her lip, expecting something crass and callous from Kyouko, as usual. "Then what _are_ we supposed to be?"

Kyouko's answer is immediate. "We're damned souls trying to fight our way out of Hell," she replies confidently, still wearing that intensely serious look. "And the only way we can make it out is if we actually believe we can win."

Sayaka stares at her, unable to articulate a response. That was the exact opposite of what she had expected out of Kyouko; she'd expected her to say something crude, and instead said something actually rather profound. Then again, Kyouko's been doing and saying a lot of things lately that Sayaka didn't expect from her. And maybe if she was actually capable of seeing change in people without it hitting her upside the head, she'd see this as a sign of change in her somewhat-rival. Alas, her getting to that point… That's gonna take some more work.

Apparently hungry again, Kyouko starts fishing through her pockets and comes up with a box of Botan Rice Candy. She pops one into her mouth, wrapper and all. "Listen," she says thickly, swallowing. "Me and Homura are going over our game plan for when this Queen of Witches Walpurgisnacht shows up at her place. She hasn't mentioned you, but the way I figure we could use all the help we can get. Wanna come?"

For a long moment, Sayaka says nothing.

If this is another one of Kyouko's attempts to "befriend" her, Sayaka has to say, she's not any more convinced by this one than she was by the last one—and she still thinks that making her an accessory to theft was a lousy way to try to cement a "friendship." But at the same time, the fact that Kyouko's still trying…

Well, maybe there's something more to this after all.

Sayaka smiles slightly. "Sure."

-0-0-0-

Kyouko leads her to a part of town Sayaka doesn't go to often, the part of town redevelopment never touched. In any other town in the world, this sector would look modern enough, but next to Mitakihara Town's most advanced, sparkling, state-of-the-art architecture, this place comes across as a bit of a dump.

The redhead stops in front of what appears to be a large apartment at the fork of a road, and knocks on the door. The door opens a fraction to reveal Homura. "Back so soon?" she asks, an odd note in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah, lemme in."

Homura opens the door wider to let Kyouko in. Kyouko waltzes in as though she owns the place; Sayaka follows. When Homura spots Sayaka, she frowns deeply. "I thought I told you to go home," she addresses her crossly.

Under that icy stare, even the bravest of girls has to wilt a little. "Heh… I guess I got a bit sidetracked."

The brunette sighs gustily and waves her in. "Oh, just go sit down. I'll call your parents."

Sayaka steps inside Homura's apartment, and finds herself just a little slack-jawed. In place of what one would call a normal apartment, there is instead a vast expanse of white. There are multiple couches and ottomans for guests to sit on; upon the far wall there are floating texts and illustrations, no doubt information about this "Walpurgisnacht" witch. She's also pretty sure that Homura's apartment is bigger on the inside.

Kyouko smirks at Sayaka's gob smacked expression. "Pretty weird, huh?"

"Walk in a straight line and only sit on one of the innermost couches," Homura tells her authoritatively. "The innermost couches are the only ones that aren't projections and if you don't walk in a straight line you'll probably walk into something. Now what's your home number?"

After being told the numbers to dial and waiting for one of Sayaka's parents to answer her cell phone, Homura casts a glance over at Sayaka. "You can come back tomorrow. Well, that's if your parents ever consent to let you out of their sight again."

Despite that gloomy prognosis, Sayaka can't help but smile.

It's nice to know she's needed.

-0-0-0-

This time around, things went better.


End file.
